Rules of Acquisition

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+1	Once you have their money, you never give it back. 	
+3	Never spend more for an acquisition than you have to. 	
+6	Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity. 	
+7	Keep your ears open. 	
+9	Opportunity plus instinct equals profit. 	
+10	Greed is eternal. 	
+16	A deal is a deal. 	
+17	A contract is a contract is a contract ... but only between Ferengi. 	
+18	A Ferengi without profit is no Ferengi at all. 	
+21	Never place friendship above profit. 	
+22	A wise man can hear profit in the wind. 	
+23	Nothing is more important than your health ... except for your money. 	
+31	Never make fun of a Ferengi's mother. 	
+33	It never hurts to suck up to the boss. 	
+34	War is good for business 	
+35	Peace is good for business. 	TNG: "The Perfect Mate"; 
+45	Expand or die. 	
+47	Never trust a man wearing a better suit than your own. 	
+48	The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife. 	
+57	Good customers are as rare as latinum. Treasure them. 	
+59	Free advice is seldom cheap. 	
+62	The riskier the road, the greater the profit. 	
+74	Knowledge equals profit. 	
+75	Home is where the heart is, but the stars are made of latinum. 	
+76	Every once in a while, declare peace. It confuses the hell out of your enemies. 	
+94	Females and finances don't mix. 	
+95	Expand or die. 	
+98	Every man has his price. 	
+102	Nature decays, but latinum lasts forever. 	
+103	Sleep can interfere with... 	
+109	Dignity and an empty sack is worth the sack. 	
+111	Treat people in your debt like family ... exploit them. 	
+112	Never have sex with the boss's sister. 	
+125	You can't make a deal if you're dead. 	
+139	Wives serve, brothers inherit. 	
+168	Whisper your way to success. 	
+ - 	A man is only worth the sum of his possessions. 	
+190	Hear all, trust nothing. 	
+194	It's always good to know about new customers before they walk in your door. 	
+203	New customers are like razor-toothed gree-worms. They can be succulent, but sometimes they bite back. 	
+208	Sometimes the only thing more dangerous than a question is an answer. 	
+211	Employees are the rungs on the ladder of success. Don't hesitate to step on them. 	
+214	Never begin a negotiation on an empty stomach. 	
+217	You can't free a fish from water. 	
+223	(incomplete, but presumably concerned the relationship between "keeping busy" and "being successful") 	
+229	Latinum lasts longer than lust. 	
+239	Never be afraid to mislabel a product. 	
+263	Never allow doubt to tarnish your lust for latinum. 	
+285	No good deed ever goes unpunished. 	
+286 	When Morn leaves, it's all over. 	
+299 	After you've exploited someone, it never hurts to thank them. That way, it's easier to exploit them next time. 	
+ – 	Exploitation begins at home. 	
+(The unwritten rule) 	When no appropriate rule applies, make one up. 	
+ – 	When the messenger comes to appropriate your profits ... kill the messenger. 	
+ – 	Time, like latinum, is a highly limited commodity. 	
+ – 	Always inspect the merchandise before making a deal. 	
+ – 	Money is money, but females are better. 	
+ – 	Why ask, when you can take? 	
+ – 	A good lie is easier to believe than the truth. 	
+ – 	If that's what's written, then that's what's written. 	
+STAGES OF ACQUISITION:  Infatuation: An unreasoning love or attraction … "I want it."  Justification: Moral excuse used to explain … "I must have it!"  Appropriation: To take to one's self in exclusion of others … "IT'S MINE AT LAST!"  Obsession: A compulsive or irrational preoccupation … "My Precious!"  Resale: The action of selling something previously bought … "Make me an offer."
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